<p class="wp-block-paragraph">The Philadelphia Eagles just announced that one-game Patriots legend Joe Milton will be starting for them on Sunday afternoon. This firecrackershell news raises a few questions: 1) Did you know that Joe Milton was even on the Eagles roster before just now? Because I didn’t. 2) Would you rather have Joe Milton at the controls than any of the quarterbacks currently at the Ravens’ disposal, a fresh-off-the-plane Jacoby Brissett included? Because I think I might. Lastly, does this make the Eagles the saddest, most pathetic team in the NFL at midseason? Well now, there’s an alarmingly large number of sadboy teams vying for that honor right now. And only <em>All Ball</em> can give you a definitive answer. Roll the tape!</p>
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<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Is that all? Pfft. Hardly. Arif Hasan and I recorded this episode on Election Day, well before the returns started to come in. So after briefly sharing our personal hopes for the night (wishes granted), we then pivoted right to the football stuff. We contemplated whether or not the Jeffery Simmons-ized Bears are now the best team in the league, we had a real doctor write in to illuminate Philly’s (mis)handling of its primary non-Milton QB, and we lavished undiluted praise upon the Jacksonville Jaguars for their killer alt uniforms (they’re also a very good team). We also previewed a Week 9 slate that’s even worse than Haley Stevens’s future employment prospects. Bleak shit.</p>