<p><em>Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind? </em><a href="mailto:funbag@defector.com"><em>Email the Funbag</em></a><em>. You can also read Drew over at </em><a href="https://www.sfgate.com/author/drew-magary/"><em>SFGATE</em></a><em>, and </em><a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/232152/drew-magary/"><em>buy Drew’s books</em></a><em> while </em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087HC32K2/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1"><em>you're at it</em></a><em>. Today, we're talking about butter parties, severance packages, finding new hobbies, and more.</em></p>
<p>Before we go any further, I demand you give it up to Albert Burneko for <a href="https://defector.com/concussion-protocols-are-a-sham">so capably filling my shoes here a week ago.</a> Truly, Bert is the king of kings.</p>
<p>Your letters:<br><br>Tom:</p>