<p><em>Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind? </em><a href="mailto:funbag@defector.com"><em>Email the Funbag</em></a><em>. You can also read Drew over at </em><a href="https://www.sfgate.com/author/drew-magary/"><em>SFGATE</em></a><em>, and </em><a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/232152/drew-magary/"><em>buy Drew’s books</em></a><em> while </em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087HC32K2/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1"><em>you’re at it</em></a><em>. Today, we're talking about crabs, eating butter by itself, living near a McStadium, and more.</em></p>
<p>PROGRAMMING NOTE: I'm currently locked into my Why Your Team Sucks duties, so you're getting a somewhat truncated bag today, plus a guest host in this space next week. Be sure to <a href="mailto:funbag@defector.com">email</a><em> </em>them here with your deepest, darkest queries. Then I'll be back the week after to give you another helping of my endless bullshit. Got all that? Neato bobeato.</p>
<p>Your letters:</p>